Intro
I’ve been looking for peace lately. Trying to figure out what that means and how to find it. I want to dedicate my life and everything that I do to living a life without worry. In a perfect world, I flow through life, like a wave in the ocean. I appreciate each day for what it is, never getting too high or too low, and never worrying about the days ahead or the days that have passed. Just being.
I worry about a lot of things a lot of times. I worry about figuring out my purpose in life. I worry about not being there enough for my family and friends. I worry about getting older. I mean, we only have one chance at life. I worry about if I am living it to the fullest and appreciating the most important thing ever given to me. It seems that I even worry about peace. Huh.
I wrote two different pieces a while back, one talking about how to clear your mind and the other talking about living life in the moment. I think those are two key things that I have learned so far in my life that have helped me eliminate unnecessary stress, and definitely think you should check out. This piece is about peace specifically though. As I grow older, I have found what peace means to me and some things in my life that put some ease to my soul. My hope, if you are anything like me, is that I can write something that you can take away from and apply to your life.
Find Yourself
First and foremost, I truly believe that the most important part in finding what peace means to you is to find yourself. I think finding yourself is the most important thing that anybody can and should do for themselves, but that is a whole entire journey in and of itself. I sound like a broken record at this point, talking about how everything comes from within- motivation, confidence, self-love, purpose, you name it. But it’s the realest thing that I can tell you and will continue to preach about.
True peace of mind, the pure state of being content with life, no matter what is happening, is established in your heart, not your eyes. It’s about digging deep and understanding what makes you, you. It’s really common sense, but a lot of people lack in that department these days. With peace of mind, you need an understanding of what stresses you out and what soothes you. And then live according to what soothes you, while avoiding the stressors.
A lot of us have the notion that we will get peace from earthly things: money, cars, clothes, etc. These things aren’t true peace. Probably more like a drug than anything. Being rich and having more money than you know what to do with would feel fucking amazing for a while, sure. Shit, it would make me feel a whole lot better right now, I wouldn’t have to worry about anything.
But like an addiction, that stack of paper will begin to feel less and less amazing. You suddenly realize that your problems didn’t go away, they only got more expensive. And the only way to keep that amazing feeling is to get more money. Then that doesn’t become enough, so you need more…and more…Same goes with cars, girls/guys, clothes, all that.
At the end of the day, you can’t take anything to the grave with you, only yourself. It’s been well documented by now that even the people who seem to have everything anyone could ever want in life usually end up feeling just as miserable as the people on the bottom looking up. These people who “have it all” really just have all their worldly desires. What they lack is themselves.
“I am very glad to have escaped from all that [worldly pleasure], like a slave who has escaped from his deranged and savage master. You see, old age brings peace and freedom from all such things. When the appetite ceases to stress and importune us…we escape from many insane masters.”
-The Republic
Plato wrote it best and it is still as relevant today as it was in 375 B.C. You don’t have to be old to figure this out, though. It’s honestly much better to learn this now than later on.
My Peace
Like I said earlier, peace of mind is about finding you. In thinking about this piece for a while now, I have come up with the major aspects of my life that let me flow. Of course you and I are not the same person. We came up differently, we have different perspectives of life, and we value different things. But if you’re anything like me, you might relate. Really, I just like to look back at these myself to remind me when I lose my bliss.
- Solitude
Being alone brings me the most peace, and it’s been a long road to figuring this out.
For one, I’m heavily introverted. It bugs me when people equate introversion as being socially awkward. This is why so many people think I’m lying to them when I say that I am introverted. It’s not the same. I am very socially inclined, I enjoy being social and meeting new people. It’s actually something I enjoy very much, learning from people, when I feel like it. If you’re an introvert, you can understand the amount of energy any type of social setting expends, even just chilling with a close friend. Too much socializing is legitimately taxing. Once my social battery dies, I can’t function until I get back to myself.
Adding to that, I am a social chameleon, meaning I can change myself for a specific social situation. Let’s say I am meeting a person for the first time. Off rip, I can meet a person and figure out what they are about and how they operate. And then I can mold myself to be the most suitable for them. It’s mostly subconscious (even though I am fully aware when it happens) and happens every time I interact with a person, familiar or not. Because of this, I usually get along with most people that I meet.
But overdoing the shapeshifting means losing the real authentic version of myself, the version of me that doesn’t change for the benefit of others. It’s so easy for me to get caught up in what other people want from me, that I forget to put my needs first. I get stuck with a persona that I don’t like just for harmony. The truth is that the only time that I don’t have to change myself for others is when no others are around.
And lastly, I only care about genuine relationships; relationships built on trust, loyalty, and growth. I truly feel like relationships like that are hard to come by and don’t just happen. I don’t desperately chase relationships. I let them come because that’s what makes them genuine. So if it’s not my family or my day one homies, I really don’t want it.
- Expressing I
I used to be a message in a bottle. All of my thoughts, feelings, emotions, and ideas inside of me would stay tucked away inside of me. I never let anyone read my story, never let people know the real me. I used to be scared of judgment from others, honestly. This would go for everyday life, not just writing for example. I would just sit quiet with all my thoughts, never letting others hear about how I feel. If I did say something, it usually wasn’t what I was thinking. And you already know that I was thinking.
When I started to write and express myself through this blog, I felt the flow state for the first time. It’s like being in the zone. When I write, all outside noise and shit that I overthink about disappear. And even after I am done writing, I feel refreshed, fully in tune with myself. The things I worry about no longer seem to worry me. It’s a reminder of who I am and what I want to be. That’s my true peace and it’s a beautiful feeling. Real pure.
Expressing yourself doesn’t have to be in one specific form and most definitely doesn’t have to be writing. Some people write, some make art, others make music. Some people don’t even take creative outlets to express themselves, they just do it in everyday life. Find a way to express yourself. Make your voice heard in whatever form that may be. Find a way to get in tune with yourself. The record hasn’t been fixed, and it’s still telling you that everything comes from within.
- Reminder To Me
You have to live your life on your own terms. I can’t stress this enough. You are not the same as everybody else. You are your own person with a unique mind and a life that can’t be copied. Peace is intrinsic, it comes from within. You can’t live life for other purposes other than yourself and expect to be at peace. You’re not selfish for this. At the end of the day, you are all you have in this life.
When you are your highest self, at peace and in that flow state, everybody else around you is going to be elevated. All of your relationships will be stronger than they ever have been because you are stronger than you have ever been. Let me repeat, you are not selfish for living your life in a way that brings you contentment. You’re admirable for just doing you. The truth is that a lot of people can’t do it themselves.
Peace doesn’t come overnight. It’s a habit and just like other habits it needs to be worked on every day, all of the time in order to improve. Eventually, this habit will become muscle memory, You won’t even have to think about finding peace, you’ll just live it.
I still have a long way to go to find my ultimate peace, but I am taking the right steps now and building the right habits for my future self. I don’t want to look back at my life in thirty years and feel unsatisfied with the only life I have been given. I just want to be at ease with my soul.
LOW: Lack Of Worry
