In my first peace piece, called LOW Life, I wrote about “finding” a life without worry. I quote the word “find” because peace is created, not found. By you. I touched on things that you can do to create your peace and included my personal habits, mindsets, and attitudes that allow me to be at bliss.
But just as there are ways to bring peace, there are just as many ways that can take it away. I think it’s also important to know about this flip side. Think about it. If you know what can bring you peace, you live life according to those things. If you know what brings you worry, you can avoid doing those things.
I want to reiterate from the first piece and pretty much every piece that I have written thus far that it is imperative to find your true self. That’s always the first step in any type of personal growth, knowing who you are and accepting yourself for that. Fuck all the outside noise. You have to know who you are when nobody else is around to tell you how to be. You have to know what you are about even when there are endless people around you telling you what to be about. That’s the recipe, but I digress.
It took me a long time to realize that a lot of the subtle things that I do on a daily basis affect my mental health and tranquility. I used to think of peace of mind being some grandiose plan/lifestyle. Like you had to completely change your life habits in order to “find” peace. In reality, peace is a culmination of all of the small things that you feed your mind, body, and spirit. I had to realize that a lot of the things that I was consuming on a daily basis was directly influencing my mind and the way that I felt.
Here’s my thoughts:
Trinity of Stress
- Social Media
Social media has changed everything, especially for the youth. There’s a pressure now from social media. You can see anybody and everybody from across the world now and each person is trying their hardest to make it seem like their lives are better than yours. So what you see is a lot of fake, false shit, and you have no idea what is actually going behind the post. All of the sudden you start to feel worse about yourself because you think you aren’t as good as what you’re seeing.
Social media is fictional. Fake. Everything you see has been edited in some way or another. I have first hand seen the amount of work and obsession people take to make themselves look a million times better than their reality. Shit, I used to be one of them. I look back at some of the pics I’ve posted and shake my head because of how hard I tried. Posed up taking pictures that represent nothing of the person that I was, only trying to make it seem like I am better than the person seeing my pic. It’s backwards.
I also used to be engulfed by the pressure that social media created in my head. I would go on Tik-Tok or Instagram or Snap to mindlessly scroll through people trying their hardest (really doing less then nothing) to go viral. Everytime, and it never failed, everytime I would get off my phone feeling worse about myself then when I started scrolling.
Look, I know what’s up. I get that social media has tangible value and is becoming more and more ingrained in our lives. I’m not naive, and certainly not trying to sound like too much of an old head. Social media is a part of our lives now. There is a line between what’s real and what’s not. Social media platforms are created to share reality, but the platforms themselves are not reality.
A lot of people, especially the youth, are starting to blend this line, fusing social media as reality. Admittedly, I still get caught up sometimes, it’s hard not to. But at least I am aware of when I get caught up. I understand that when I start to feel some type of way, it’s probably just a byproduct of all of the pseudo shit that I am consuming.
The moment that you get away from of it, all that pressure and bullshit disappears, it no longer means anything. It can’t hurt you. That person who you saw “flexing” a life you want to live is gone; that girl who you think is so much more attractive than you will never show up in your mind again; that dude who has the nicest clothes and shoes is just an afterthought. Out of sight, out of mind.
Get away from the internet. Live real life.
- Soul Food
Something that I don’t think gets talked about enough is how music affects your mental. Music is a direct expression of oneself, of one’s soul. People gravitate to music that they feel with and connect with on an intimate level. When I listen to music, I put myself in the artists shoes, and feel what they are feeling. Their words become my thoughts, it’s that powerful to me.
If I’m not careful, I can easily fuck up my mental simply by listening to the wrong type of music. As much as I love Juice Wrld, and I really love that man as an artist, I can’t listen to his music for a long time straight and I know a lot of people who are like this too. His shit is sad, straight up. Whenever I listen, I put myself in a rich ass, drug addicted, kid’s shoes. And it’s not a good feeling.
I genuinely don’t think that other people realize this. They change their mood through music, but don’t understand that it’s the music that is responsible.
I had the notion growing up that trap rap was the only genre of music that was for me. For real. I never really listened to any other genres of music, and definitely didn’t give them a chance. Instead, I tried to make myself relate to the trap shit. I tried to change the way I thought about life, based on this genre.
Money, hoes, and clothes. That was my idea of the pinnacle of life …
It took me until two years ago to start seeking out music and artists that relate to me, who are similar to me as a person. Kota the Friend is the first artist I ever heard rap about growing as a person and appreciating life, values that I hold high in my life. I can remember listening to his music for the first time. I felt free, honestly. It was so different from what I was used to, but felt so close to my spirit. It’s so refreshing to hear other music different perspectives of life based on the music. That’s what I have been missing for so long.
With that said, music is a powerful tool that you can use to find peace of mind. Music either feeds the soul or feeds off of the soul. Read that again. Make sure the music you enter into your body is good for it.
- Relationships
Another thing that I think people have lost touch on are relationships, of ALL types. Everything seems so fake these days. People are so fake these days. I see people who throw dirt on their so called “friend’s” name, and then hang out with that said person right after as if nothing happened. I see people who talk shit about a person, and the comment on that same person’s pictures.
Seems to me like people only get with people just for the clout and the name. They only care about the opinions of others and really has nothing to do with what they want for themselves. I never understood why people like to involve themselves in empty relationships that they don’t truly feel satisfied with. I see people who are miserable and stuck, as if they can’t live their lives anymore. The pictures on Instagram may seem like that relationship is solid, but behind the scenes they are both miserable.
All I want are genuine, true relationships. Relationships that bring me peace, not the opposite. I am incredibly particular with who I let into my life. It’s not everybody. I need people that make me feel fulfilled. I need people who are going to bring out the best in me. That goes for friends, family and the especially the females. Anything else is a waste of my time and energy, and you better believe that I value my time to the highest degree. Until then, I am good riding solo dolo or with a Cheerio sized circle of people around me.
Live your life and build yourself up first. Focus on yourself, really. The right relationships will come when it’s meant to be. If it takes you some time to find those relationships, that’s okay. Remember, it’s your journey, nobody else’s. Your timing is your timing. I would absolutely rather be alone than involved in relationships that takes away my peace of mind.
Conclusion
These are just some of my personal things that bring me conflict; I know you have your own life and your own worries. I encourage you to pinpoint anything that brings you worry. A lot of times, these things happen subconsciously, so you have to kind of take a step out of yourself and look from a different perspective. In any situation, if you are having trouble trying to find aspects of yourself, ask people you trust to give you an honest answer. Back to the relationship thing, the people who are really there for you care about seeing the best come out of you. A friend who agrees with everything you say/do is not your friend.
Once you find your stressors, avoid them at all costs. If you can’t avoid them, make the necessary adjustment that does not lead to stress. Let me throw some examples to end the piece.
Let’s say that social media is making you feel like you aren’t doing shit with your life. All you are seeing on the timeline is people being “better” than you. The change? Unfollow every person that you don’t care about. Keep the shit that you are consuming to a minimum. There really is no reason for you to be seeing millions of different people.
Let’s say that you are feeling depressed and upset at the world but you don’t know why. Everything is good on paper, but you still don’t feel right mentally. Well, listening to strictly $uicide Boy$ for the past month might just be the problem. The change? Switch it up. Get your mental right with the music you put into your ears.
And let’s say that your family getting you down cause’ you feel like they don’t understand you. The change? Instead of avoiding them because they don’t get you, open yourself up and let them in. Maybe they’ll finally understand.
I’ll say it once and I’ll say it again. The goal at the end of the day is to appreciate the one life that given to you. Build a lifestyle that allows you to enjoy each and every day as if it were your last; you never know when that day will be. Don’t waste your life worrying about things that you can easily control. Focus on what brings your peace and eliminate what takes it away from you.
