Don't be a stranger
You never know who is sitting next to you. You never know what is going on in their lives, and whether or not they are going to change yours. Too often we as people get caught up in our own minute bubbles of life that we fail to explore the rest of the world around us. Let me tell you a real story that happened to me, which forever changed the way I view the world around me.
Sutton Place (Backstory)
There is a neighborhood in the Upper East Side of Manhattan called Sutton Place, known for being a very wealthy neighborhood in New York City with a lot of old money. Along the neighborhood are a series of parks that stretch alongside the East River, looking across from Roosevelt Island and Queens. I lived about a block away from Sutton (no I did not have old money), so I would visit the parks almost everyday. Here, I would gather my thoughts, smoke, listen to good music, and enjoy life in the moment.
One late night I decided to switch up from the park closest to my apartment and go to one of the further parks down the street, in an effort to be more spontaneous, or at least as spontaneous as I can be.
I sat down on the bench and began to take out my Puffco rig for a solid dab session. As this was happening, a dude sitting a couple feet to the right of me hollered at me. At first, I thought he was going to be mad that I was taking a dab. Like I said, out there is a lot of old money and old people, many of whom still aren’t cool with the herb. Anyway, I looked over and to my surprise it was a younger man, maybe mid thirties, sitting there with his dog smoking a “doobie,” as he calls them. And he wasn’t trying to shut me down. He wanted to know if I was actually using a Puffco, because he had one back at his apartment.
After a quick small talk conversation about Mary Jane herself, he invited me to come sit closer to him on the bench so that we could keep talking.
Life Over Spliffs
He introduced himself and his golden lab, Althea, whom he walks to the park every night before bed. I then introduced myself and told him why I, a 19 year old kid from New Mexico, was in Sutton Place at 10 O’clock at night.
From there we ended up conversing about life, over some spliffs and White Claws that he provided. He gave me a rundown on what he was doing with his life and also dropped some stories about growing up. Turns out this guy is Manhattan born and raised, and lives just a couple of blocks from the park in Sutton. He even told me that Central Park was quite literally his backyard growing up because his apartment was directly across the street from the park. He too was a lost soul who dreamed big coming up; he smoked a lot too. He even said that I reminded himself of him when he was younger.
“I wish I had someone talking to me like this when I was your age,” he told me.
He explained his job as an advertiser and all of the places it has taken him (if I hadn’t made it clear by now, this dude is successful). I remember one time I texted him to see if he wanted to meet up and he responded with, “Yo dude! I’m out in the Hamptons atm”. Damn, I want to be in the Hamptons.
A little unrelated, but one of the stories he told me was about how he would lie to his parents about getting a job and instead of going to the said job, he would bring a sleeping bag to Central Park and sleep on a park bench all day. Although he kind of took it to the extreme, I could easily relate to not doing shit I don’t care about. And it was a funny story.
I ended up meeting up with this dude and Althea a couple more nights at the park. Each time, he was generous enough to bring some White Claws and a couple of spliffs that he rolled for us as we talked about life. Each time serving as a reminder that I am living.
Simple Man
Why am I telling you this story? Well for one, it’s an awesome New York City story, and I wanted to share that. But really I wanted to share all of the things that I learned from my time with Harley (cause I really did learn a lot). These lessons can be applied to anyone in any situation to make your life what you want it to be.
Enjoy the little moments. Life is not necessarily about having the most money or being the best or having things that other people don’t have. The majority of your life is probably going to be relatively uneventful. Not everyday is going to bring something life changing or life remembering. In reality, it’s the small things in life that makes life worth living. As I grow into a young man, I have learned that I must always keep my childlike views of life.You know how a child is mesmerized at anything new that they may encounter? Even grown adults need to stop and smell the roses, or in this case, sitting on a park bench listening to a stranger giving life advice.
Appreciate your journey. Everything happens for a reason. I was meant to go to that park at that time. I was meant to meet Harley and his dog. As I go back through this piece almost a year later, I still think about all of the things that I have learned from those late night conversations, and the fact that even happened to me. Although I wish that he would have offered me a job on the spot, I can still appreciate the fact that I was able to meet a person who lives the life that I wish to live someday.
Go after what you want. You can make your reality whatever you want it to be. Really. Harley preached to me that I should find things I like to do and go all in on that. At the time, I didn’t really have anything that I truly loved, but those conversations opened my mind to exploring new things and finding new passions, hobbies, and purposes.
Work hard. You can only get what you want if you work for it. I can’t lie, people tend to stay in the same positions as the ones they came up in; some have it better than others. But to be successful in any case, it takes hard work and discipline. Harley did not get everything he has from simply coming up in a successful family. He had to find himself and put himself in positions to be where he is at today.
Listen to the people and the world around you. Don’t talk, listen. You’d be amazed at how much you will learn about the world and yourself if you stop talking and just listen. Observe.
Be a simple man. Harley showed me the song Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd. He told me to really listen and live by the song. I’m not a rock head at all, but this song is something every person needs to hear. Life is simple. It doesn’t need to be overcomplicated. Stay grounded, work hard, keep meaningful relationships, and live your life as best as you can.
I talked to him a little bit after I left, but not anymore. I am immensely thankful to have met him and wouldn’t trade those late night talks at the park for anything. I smile just thinking about those memories.
There are 8 billion people on the Earth. Every person has a unique perspective on life and no two people have the same experiences and memories. But yet somehow we as people only view life from one perspective. Ours. Put yourself out there and be open to learning from the world around you. The more you learn about the world around you, the more you will learn about yourself.
