Being a Better You
First piece, it’s got to be a good one. Let’s talk personal growth, one of the most fulfilling and powerful jobs that you can do, with no degree or training experience needed.
Personal growth takes on a lot of different elements and is completely subjective to the each individual. For some, growth is about changing and adapting to new perspectives and outlooks on life. For others, growth is about developing a healthy relationship and loving yourself. Growth can also be less about inner self and more about fulfilling a goal or a dream.
The main thing to understand about personal growth and a universal definition is that growing is about becoming the best version of yourself. Whatever shape that may take.
Head in the Clouds
My favorite thing to do while I lived in New York City was to walk around with no destination in mind. There’s something very freeing about just going and not worrying about where you are going, especially in the city; you see something new every time. This one day, I had a little bit of shrooms, so I decided to take some and wander through Central Park to people watch and enjoy the many sights of the park.
Side note: my freshman semester of college was coming to an end and I had already begun to worry about going back home to New Mexico and figuring out the next chapter of my life, so my anxiety was through the roof. And the shrooms didn’t help.
Those damn butterflies in my stomach were flying everywhere and I could feel my brain closing in on itself, making it harder and harder to even put coherent thoughts together. It felt as if all of my problems and issues that I had built up inside were coming to a head, literally. It felt like my head was about to pop off.
I ended up finding a spot under a shady tree to lay down under, desperate to get myself under control. The field was Sheep’s Meadow, which is a huge open field in the park where hella people come for picnics and fun. That day in particular was an anomaly because the park was almost entirely empty even though the weather was perfect. I laid a towel down on the ground, threw on ‘Man on the Moon III’ by Kid Cudi, and stared into the open sky filled with white clouds. I felt like a little kid in that moment, a feeling that I hadn’t experienced in years. No worries, no worries, and no worries. Just me trying to figure out what shapes the clouds in the sky were.
I swear that one of the main clouds that hovered over the park looked exactly like God commanding the skies with his staff. I saw every detail of this man, from his face to his body. I took a picture because I was in awe of what I was seeing. Funny how the picture resembles nothing of God, but I believe that He wanted me to see him in that moment, as if he was telling me that I wasn’t alone and that I didn’t need to go through life alone. The only time I cried more than when I did on that day was probably the day that I was born. And it changed my life.
Suddenly, all of the so-called problems and issues that I was dealing with didn’t bother me any longer. I felt in this one sitting moment YEARS of emotional baggage and pain lifting out of my body like a ghost of hate rising out of a body. For the first time in a long time of my short life, I felt what it was like to be alive.
It Ain't Easy, Don't Give up
Personal growth is challenging. There isn’t a set time limit on it. There is not a strict set of instructions that every person can follow in order to grow. The only way to grow is to live. And I mean truly live. Too often I would let my life get repetitive and stagnate. I lived in a bubble that was comfortable to me, where I never had to challenge myself as a person. Repetition is comfort, and that can be okay, but I let comfort control my life. Be okay with being uncomfortable. Be okay with not knowing the outcome. That’s when life gets good.
Things that you can do to get out of your comfort zone:
- Do something new
Trying something new is the easiest way to put yourself out in the unknown. This could be a new hobby, a new job, or a new relationship. It doesn’t even have to be that big of a change- try getting something different from your favorite restaurant. I started skateboarding back in March, and while the first months have been frustrating and painful, I have found a new passion, met new people/reconnected with old friends, and found a new lane that brings me joy.
- Go outside
You would be amazed at out how much you can learn and gain from simply going outside. Take a stroll through a park or even around your neighborhood. Observe everything around you. See things you have never seen before. Pay attention to the sounds around you. Notice how it makes you feel. Connecting with yourself and your surroundings brings you new awareness and senses. This may or may not be comfortable to you, but it will bring you closer to yourself.
- Travel to a new place
This is the one. Understand that every place is unique and provides an abundance of new people, cultures, experiences, perspectives, environments, etc. The more you explore, the more you will expand.
- Read
First off, I know reading old ass books in school is the reason why you don’t like to read. I was the same way until I started to take an initiative to read. Instead of being forced to read books I didn’t want to read, I seek after books that I actually find interesting. There are good books out there, for real. Finding a good book is just as addicting as watching a movie if it’s the right book. Also, if you think reading is wack because that’s what people around you think, you are sincerely missing out on chances to grow. I’m serious. Invest in yourself and read a good book.
One book that I highly recommend is You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, by Jen Sincero. Sincero explains ways to better your life and become the person you want to be. One of the main points she makes in the book, and something that I applied to my life is to truly love yourself and accept yourself for who your are, flaws included. Give it a read, it might just change the way you think about your life.
Til' the End
While most days aren’t going to be life changing, it is important to grow everyday and learn little by little. Like I said, you probably won’t be able to become who you want to be overnight. While I was fortunate enough to have an incredible life moment, I still am not even close to where I want to be.
In your journey to personal growth, look forward to the person that you will be in the future, but do not just wish to get older hoping that time will be your catalyst for change. Time moves fast enough, and the only thing you do by wishing to be older is not enjoying where you are at now. You’re probably in the “good ol’ days” right now, so make the most of it.
One of my main goals in life is to learn something new everyday until I can’t learn anymore. And the only day that I will stop trying to grow is the day that I see the man in the clouds.
P.S. go outside and cloudgaze with while listening to songs that feed your soul. One of the best things you can do for yourself.
