So, I lost my blog for a couple of months because the domain lease expired. I was just a couple of days from losing the entire website. My website houses all my dreams, thoughts, and everything else that goes on inside my mind. I shed a few tears when I found out. A piece of me had been taken away, and I almost wasn’t able to get it back.
I guess I didn’t realize how much this blog helped me until I lost it. I didn’t write at all this past summer and I could feel the effects. Up until like August, I felt invincible, and I feel like that had everything to do with my writing. I fully understood myself and the direction that I was heading. I had a clear purpose for being here and I had never felt more confident in the life that I had created for myself. Anytime I had a waiver in my consciousness, I would put words on a page and come back to the ground, After I lost my blog, I felt…lost. I lost sight of my vision. I lost sight of myself.
I just read, ‘The Four Agreements’, by Don Miguel Ruiz. In summary, there are four agreements you must make in order to live a more fulfilling life. I will never be able to do the book justice by paraphrasing, I highly recommend you read, but the first agreement that one must make is being, “impeccable with your word”. Being impeccable (meaning without sin in Latin) is about using your words to elevate yourself and the world around you. Words have the power to create or destroy. The words you speak, the words you write, the words you think, all have value. Words propel manifestation. That manifestation could either be of positivity and love or of hatred and negativity.
A great man once said that he speaks things to existence (Lavar Ball). I didn’t believe him until I started to do the same. I realize that everything I am now is a direct product of my thoughts and my words that I have spoken or written about previously. It’s hard to realize this in the moment. It takes reflection to understand where you came from and how you got to where you are now.
Being impeccable with your words also means that you must double down on yourself and everything you stand for. I have problems with that, I can’t lie. Sometimes I switch up my words and actions based on the people I am around. Sometimes I speak words that are not true to myself so that I can fit in, or at least not stand out in any way. In doing so, I find myself lowering my vibrations and thus going back to the old me that was too scared to have a voice. I revert back to the me that I worked so hard to grow out of.
I question myself all the time. “Why am I the way that I am? What’s my purpose? Am I doing this right?”
Then I come back to my words and remember that I have experience that has guided me. I have been places and listened to people’s words, which have shaped my idea of what life is. I have used my thoughts and turned them into words. And from those words I have created the person that I am right now.
I’m in a new place. I have a new life now. I have a chance to embrace this new life of mine and double down on the words that I have put out and continue to put out. I will never suppress my word because then I suppress myself. I will say and be who I want to be. Always.
“I will only use my words to serve my purpose. I will never use words that go against myself.”
